Holding On (Short Story)


Holding On

 By Asche Keegan

I clung to the ledge by my fingertips, muscles burning. Above me, the eternally black sky peered down as if in scolding, and not a single star could be found to wish on. 

“Tell me when you give up.” I threw my gaze forward in response, trying to catch sight of the dragon’s glinting golden eye. 

“I will never give up,” I swore. 

“You say that now. Everyone always says that. But sooner or later, they find themselves falling over something. You can not hold on to that ledge for long. Even as you linger there, you will find your demons, attracted to your vulnerability."

Gregarious’ words wreaked havoc in my mind, and I frantically searched the depths below my precarious grasp. Though strong, my fingers could not hold on forever, and soon the darkness I had fought back for so long would take me into it. 

“Now, if you give up your foolish fight, I will lend you a hand and allow you to climb out of there. You will remain alive. You will not be conquered by demons.” 

I spat, and though it fell into the gully below, I felt as satisfied as if it had hit his glorious black wings. “And give my soul over to the devil? I think not.” 

“Is that how you perceive me?” Gregarious responded. Rumbling shook the ground I held to, and when I looked up, I saw that the dragon had arisen, craning his neck to peer around at me. “I, who encouraged you and cherished you and protected you, am now the devil?” 

“You are the one holding me to this wretched cliff!” I exclaimed. 

Gregarious snorted, billowing toxic smoke at my face. I resisted the urge to cough, staring right back into his golden eyes. “You are holding yourself here,” he replied. “To let go is to perish, but still you refuse me the ability to lend you a way to climb out of there.” 

I shook my head, but could say no more, distracted by the pain in my fingers. Scrambling for a tighter hold on the rock, I swayed, body slamming into the rockface. 

“You have lost everything,” Gregarious said again. “Everyone you cared about is gone. You’re working through life on your own.” Pain tore through me as the reminder of her swept its way through my mind. “You could have saved your relationship,” Gregarious continued. “Instead you cast it all away. Why?” 

His words echoed through my head, reverberating again and again: 

        why 
 
            Why 

                WHY 

“Don’t try to trick me!” I cried. “And besides, I’m finding others to help me now.” 

Gregarious snorted again, and the fire from his nostrils lit up the night. “These others will leave you as quickly as you have found them. You will always be a secondary priority to them.” 

“No,” I whispered. “I’ll find someone else to make me their priority.” 

“How, when the one person you prioritized has left you?” 

“LEAVE ME ALONE!” I shouted. Gregarious surveyed me a moment. However, his black wings crinkled as they folded, and his long neck stretched towards me, peering over the edge again. He waited, silent as a predator, and I trembled before him. Once more, I attempted to pull myself up, but my arms were already exhausted enough as it was. The additional strain served no purpose. 

We remained there for a long period of time, me huffing to myself and struggling to breathe, while Gregarious did not move a muscle. Occasionally, his tail would swish across the sandy cement, and I’d jump in surprise. Even that did not faze him. 

The impossibility of my position struck me, a futile, eternal war quite literally facing the total of all my greatest flaws and fears. 

“Allow me to help you,” the dragon finally stated. 

I looked up, tears stinging my eyes, searching for any hint of insincerity in his. For years, Gregarious had been my mentor. I had nursed the devil within me, but when I finally realized who he was, he had risen up and imprisoned me in such a precarious location. Even now, I still saw the ancient wisdom in his golden gaze, and though I longed to give into him, I knew it would only cause me greater long-term pain. For years, I had never been pretty enough, smart enough, or good enough, and now I finally understood the source of those thoughts. 

Yet, as I met his pleading gaze, I suddenly realized that his desire for me to give in to him was about more than eternal torture. Puzzled, I risked a glance at the cavern below me. It seemed to shimmer, shadows dancing across the bottom, which I could not quite see. 

The thought struck me out of nowhere. For there to be shadows, there must be light. Sure enough, as I examined it closer, I saw flickering candle-light hidden by a rock face. 

I turned to Gregarious who had watched my sudden revelation. He cloaked his expression quickly, but I suddenly understood. “You don’t want me to fall because there’s something better down there,” I voiced aloud. He neither confirmed or denied my statement, only whipping his tail back and forth. “There’s a light down there!” I cried. “This entire time, there’s been a light down there!” 

When he still did not respond, I looked down again, squinting past the dark ledges. My arms trembled, and I wondered why I held on to the ledge. Because to do otherwise would be to die. But…what if what truly lay below was life? 

“Let me help you. You are deluded,” Gregarious said. 

His words proved all that I needed, and I met his eyes once more. “Goodbye, Gregarious,” I said, flinging myself away from the cliff. 

The fire of his breath lit the air around me, singing my hair as it burned. “You are a fool!” he roared. 

Yet soon he couldn’t reach me, and as I fell, I caught a glimpse of the sky. For the first time, I thought I could make out a bright light in the distance, perhaps even a star. It seemed like the perfect, symbolic choice to mark an incredible act of either faith or foolishness.


***
A/N: I actually love this piece quite a bit compared to a lot of what I've been writing lately. I know y'all are killing me for that ending, so I'd love your insights! What happened? Was there life below? Or just a brutal death? Let me know in the comments. :) Thanks for reading!

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10 comments

  1. You're such a good writer, aaah :O

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  2. Good grief -
    AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I LOVE THIS SO MUCH IT IS SO SO SO SO SO GOOD!!!!!! :OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
    Amazing. Spectacular. My favorite part is when she says "There's a light down there! This entire time, there's been a light down there!" because my inner-reader was screaming "YES YES YES! There's a light! :D :D :D"
    Amazing story. Love it to pieces.

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    2. Ahhh I’m so glad you liked it! I had a feeling you would :D

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  3. (also - name Ashe Keegan? I looked up the meaning. Very, very clever. Love it so much. :) )

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    1. :DDDD I FINALLY found the perfect pseudonym 😂

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  4. Asche! Sorry, I meant to say Asche XD

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  5. :O I can honestly say that this is probably my favorite of all the things I've read on here. The imagery? The writing? The conflict? The dialogue? The dragon?? I love it all so so much and the ending is fantastic. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. This is simply amazing <3

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    1. Thank you so much!!! I really appreciate the kind words and feedback! <3

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